HIH Houseguest, Randy Jo Stewart brings us the following post. You can find out more about Randy Jo, a.k.a. The Halfass Housewife by visiting her group on Facebook, click here.
Being the Half Ass House Wife that I am (putting the ME in Mediocre) I decided a year ago to venture out and expand my repertoire. I have been doing some extra work on TV shows, movies and even a video game promo. It’s been a lot of fun but the best of all happened a month or so ago. I was on set for a TV show and they announced who the guest star of the episode was: John Schneider. Did I hear that right? The John Schneider? As in Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard? Looking around at the other extras in the holding room I soon realized only about half knew who he was. Granted, most of the extras were at least ten years younger than me but come on people. It’s Bo Duke!
Let me explain something right here, right now. Bo Duke was my very first crush. I can recall fantasizing about him pulling up in the General Lee and running out of gas in front of our house and having to stay the night. He would come in and eat dinner with us, totally ignore my A-hole big brother, marvel at my beauty and help me convince my dad to let us sleep in my tree house. That’s about as far as I got with the fantasy. I was five. I even wrote him a fan letter and at the bottom drew a picture of the General Lee. My brother got a hold of it and asked why I drew a picture of a block of cheese on it, see, like I said he was an A-hole. So I never sent the letter.
These memories came flooding back as I was led on set and positioned to look like a patron at a country western bar. Then HE walked in, not only did he walk in, he walked right by me. The fake beer I was holding shook and threatened to spill. He has aged beautifully. Tall, fit, handsome and still has a full head of blonde bouncy curls (curls I fantasized about cutting a piece from and eating in front of him and saying “Now we are one!” but thought better of).
I did my best to play it cool whenever he was around. There came a time when I was in a booth behind him in a scene and he walks right by, brushing my thigh with his leg (I like to think he did it on purpose) and I wanted to declare “Um, Mr. Schneider, you just brushed my thigh with your powerful, masculine body…pretty sure I’m pregnant now. I just know our baby will be beautiful.”
Once again I was able to keep my cool, but I was beginning to waver.
It was a twelve hour work day and I was booked to work the next two. I found myself newly energized just knowing I’d get a chance to be in the presence of Bo Duke…oops I mean John Schneider. The last day on set only ten extras were requested and I was one. I got to get up close and personal with Mr. Schneider and every time I breathed as deep as possible as if trying to steal his soul, when asked by another extra what I was doing I lied and said, “I have asthma and have to do breathing exercises to strengthen my lungs.” The glint in John’s eyes told me he knew what was up. I bet he gets sniffed like that all the time. He smells like soap, a hint of cigarettes and kind of a woodsy… my heart races just thinking of it right now.
I wish I could tell you after a brief conversation he declared his undying love for me and we drove off in the General Lee into the sunset but that would be a HUGE lie and also would piss my husband off. What I can say is Bo Duke (just going to call him this FOREVER) did talk to me, and I quote, “You having fun darling?”
OK, Ok, I don’t know for sure he used the word “darling” but he could have. My response was, “Uh, yeah, (deep breath)” and that was it.
Relaying my star struck experience to my eleven year old daughter I was disappointed with her response. Maybe it’s because my friends who I had told were at one time or another either in love with Bo or Luke and a couple even Daisy and were impressed. My eleven year old looked at me and said, “Gross, Mom. Isn’t he like old?”
I said “No, No, not at all and for your information he looks better now than ever. Me having a crush on him as a girl and getting to meet him now is the same as if you get to meet Robert Pattinson in twenty five years.”
The look on her face was one of shock and confusion. After reassuring me that I was wrong she quietly secured herself in her room, her Robert Pattinson clad room, to do some deep thinking I hoped. The next morning she and I went to a local garage sale where she found me a “John Schneider Greatest Hits” record. It was her way of a peace offering and also I think the universe saying Bo will forever be linked in my heart, only the fantasies are WAY better now.
Find out what John Schneider is up to these days, visit his official site: http://www.johnschneideronline.com
Click here for info about Dukes of Hazzard on DVD.