Not only do I have to ponder what to get my dad on Father’s Day but I have to think about what to get for my husband. These are two separate tasks. My dad is fairly simple when it comes to gifts. I could get him a salami-cheese box, a 6 pack of MGD, cigars, a new shirt for summer, a trip to a steakhouse. I could probably even get away with a big hug and a homemade card.
Getting something for Mr. HIH is tricky.

He already has most of the things he loves like video games, movies on Blu-Ray, and upgrades to computer devices. So instead of finding favorite things to gift wrap it’s time to get creative. I’m not talking homemade gift cards I’m talking creative thinking.

The gift I’ll give Mr. HIH is the Silent Treatment. Here’s how to give your husband the Silent Treatment so he’ll really appreciate it.

The night before you should find out what he wants to do on Father’s Day. Maybe he wants to have a nice lunch out with the family or take the kids to the park. If that is the answer then the Silent Treatment option isn’t for you. If he’s like my hubby he probably said something like, “I don’t know. Maybe play video games. Watch a movie, relax.”

Perfect!

First off bring him some coffee, tea or whatever hot beverage he likes in the morning with a subtle yet seductive kiss. Then just leave the room and don’t come back. That’s right don’t come back for the morning conversation. Do not come back to ask about the bills, the trash cans, the sprinklers, the next family event that your mother-in-law emailed you about. Do not come back just wait for him to come out for breakfast.

Keeping yourself busy is key to the Silent Treatment gift. This way he won’t think you’re pissed at him and you won’t break down and start nagging about that closet door that falls off the hinges.

Next, make yourself scarce for most of the day. Take the kiddos and let dad have the house for awhile because peace and quiet in a house is a very special gift indeed.

Alright, so you’re back from the outing and Dad’s still in his underwear dancing around the sofa… oh wait that was the retro movie Risky Business. He might be busy watching a movie, playing a video game, tinkering around the garage, sleeping or eating leftover pizza.

Now’s the time to just let him be, go about your day as if he isn’t even there. This might sound harsh but it’s a great gift.

Don’t ask questions while he’s playing the video game. Don’t add to the Honey-Do list. Don’t complain about your hair, your toe nails, the living room, your recent weight gain. Don’t send the kiddos in for information like what he wants for dinner. Just let the guy relax.

So that’s the Silent Treatment. It’s not for every husband on Father’s Day but if you have one like mine he’ll have one of the happiest days of the year.

My grandfather served in World War II and he received a purple heart. My father served in Vietnam and he went on to the National Guard as a First Sergeant of a tank division.

Dad in Vietnam

I grew up listening to stories about my dad’s time in Vietnam. How he couldn’t stand The Beatles because Yellow Submarine  played over the speakers while he was on his way to war and how his life was threatened by another soldier. He’s talked about the weather, the people, and music the soldiers listened to when they had a chance. I’ve seen pictures of him and his platoon goofing around in old photos. But my dad didn’t go off to college or tour Europe after high school. He didn’t have a choice; he was drafted.  He didn’t bring back a scrapbook, or signed photo album. It wasn’t a vacation and it wasn’t just a character building experience. It was the Vietnam War.

When he did come back from Vietnam he wasn’t called a hero or offered the best jobs in town. He had to prove himself. He had to prove his sanity to potential employers. They wanted to know the details. Did the war make him crazy? Had he killed anyone? These were the interview questions he had to answer. The things he probably thought about on his way to and from the meetings, the questions that still might come up every now and then.

When I was little and my mom would tell me to wake dad up for dinner it was a tricky task. He would jump or jolt sometimes ready for a fight when I tried to wake him up if I didn’t do it right. I learned to wake him up slowly, sort of coax him out of sleep in case he was dreaming from some foreign place away from our suburban California apartment. Decades have changed this and he wakes up slow and steady these days but I remember wondering as kid why he was so jumpy just from waking up from a nap. So many veterans that came back from wars, so many that had to answer tough questions, relive moments and carry around unpleasant memories. They were the fortunate ones, they came back.

Here’s a video I found on YouTube the other night.

I am thankful for every veteran but I like to imagine what a wonderful era it will be when we don’t have to fight. I’m not sure what my dad thinks about this song. I might ask him today.

Click here for an Interactive Vietnam Veterans Memorial, leave a tribute, a story or photograph about any of the 58,256 veterans killed or missing in the Vietnam War.

My Dad in Vietnam

“L” Debois  singing Marvin Gaye’s, What’s Going On